The Sad Ballad of the Right-Hand Man

I received a pitch in the mail for Portfolio , Conde Naste’s “new magazine that exposes the best-kept secrets of the business world." This is neat, I thought while looking at the flier: the marketing team selected a profile of a CFO published in the magazine to help convince me to subscribe.

Of course, the story is about an imprisoned CFO: Mark Swartz, formerly of Tyco where he worked with Dennis Kozlowski.

Writer Katrina Brooker’s profile of Swartz is compelling. I could not help feeling for him (right or wrong). Swartz sounds humble (at least in comparison to his former boss). Swartz began his career as a Deloitte auditor who joined Tyco as an assistant controller, before rising to CFO and earning multi-million-dollar bonuses while helping to obscure Kozlowski’s chicanery.

What’s jarring about the profile is the reality of prison life (not exactly a country club) for Swartz. For example:

“I was on the bus, chained up to the other inmates, when this guy behind me said, ‘Gimme your watch.’” Swartz’s voice drops to a growl, and he tries without much success to make a fierce face. “I’m kind of frozen, because before going into prison, I talked to some guys who’d spent some time inside. Their advice was ‘Don’t ever back down.’ So I knew there’s no way I’m giving this guy my watch. Then the guy says again, ‘Gimme the watch,’ and he looks like he’s getting mad. Now everyone on the bus is freaking out.

Any executive – financial or otherwise – feeling pressure to break the law will have second thoughts after reading about Swartz’s daily grind (two hours a day outside his nine-foot-by-thirteen-foot cell).

Yet, it’s also discomforting to read that Swartz will likely serve a longer sentence than the child molesters and rapists in his cell block while his (also imprisoned) former boss’ retirement fund gained 7 percent to reach $76million this year.