Laughing Matters: Must-Ask Questions for Prospective Employees

Human resources professionals have put far too much emphasis on the kind of questions you must not ask a prospective employee -- anything about marital status, political affiliation, religious beliefs, preferred kinds of undergarments -- and not enough on the kind of questions you should ask. The result? Employees who reveal new and disappointing shortcomings every day and managers left with weak teams wearing uncomfortable underwear that saps productivity.

Managers resort to asking tired, bland questions that elicit the usual insincere, pat answers. What kind of experience do you have? Where do you want to be one, two and five years from now? How do you define customer service? Did you bring in your ticket for parking validation?

Smart interviewers know that interviewees have anticipated all their questions and come up with the kind of prepackaged answers anyone can find at Web sites such as bigfatlies.com. So managers need to prepare unexpected questions that are legal and meet the objective of revealing the employee's innermost assets or liabilities. Here are some good ones and the kind of answers you should hope to get.

Where do you want to be five minutes from now? Who wants someone who knows where they want to be in five years if they can't think five minutes ahead? Hope to get an answer such as "giving a sample for the drug test," which would reveal self-confidence and knowledge of company procedures.

Tell me something unique about yourself. Weak candidates will merely parrot what you already know from their resumes. Psychotics will relate a deeply personal story, sometimes about their underwear, often weeping in the process. The person you want will tell you that she can parallel park blindfolded, which reveals manual dexterity, persistence, a willingness to take risks and the possession of a valid driver's license.