Laughing Matters: Cutting-Edge Coaches

Cutting-Edge Coaches

"My coach says I should get a new voice-mail message," said my friend Larry, prompting me to spew a mouthful of robust Brazilian coffee onto his freshly laundered designer shirt.

I had no idea Larry had a coach. Larry is trying to sell real estate, not land a spot on an Olympics team. I also had no idea that a coach could tell you the secrets of voice-mail messages or that you would willingly pay for this advice. A coach would say that I need a coach to keep up on such things.

But coaching is big and getting bigger. The roster of The International Coach Federation includes 70,000 personal and business coaches in 70 countries. Coaches have evolved from angry guys in sweatshirts with whistles to people in suits with "comprehensive individual behavior assessments."

The concept is simple: Delegate some of the responsibility for your life to a professional who will gladly accept that challenge for $150 an hour. Then graft that person's head to the body of a Marine Corps drill sergeant to create someone who incessantly tells you what to do.

Of course, none of this is necessary if you still live with your mom. All coaching -- athletic, personal, business, Lamaze -- traces its roots to mothers. Mothers were the first coaches, and their training has always covered the spectrum of life's needs from telling their children not to suck their thumbs to telling them not to be suckers in marriage. A mother is involved with her clients 24(sum)7, and she uses powerful behavior-modification tools such as guilt, need for acceptance and fear of spanking to help her kids achieve her -- oops, I mean their -- goals. In fact, there is only one thing that mothers lack that today's business and personal coaches boast of: a reliable fee structure and billing system.