Don't Go There

I was hardly surprised to learn that one of the greatest sources of stress for businesspeople is neither facing a restructuring nor making the monthly sales quota, nor even working in a place where lax managerial policies allow employees to bring in wolves. Instead, our universal source of stress is travel.

No less an authority than Runzheimer International reports that 44 percent of all business travelers rate the stress associated with travel on a par with watching their favorite sports team lose. Nine out of 10 business travelers are fatigued, 37 percent report "humor failure," 35 percent are stricken with aching limbs, one in six has paranoia looking over his or her shoulder, and three in every hundred business travelers consider "getting there" as much fun as getting laid off.

Take me. Not too long ago, I was supposed to fly to Kearney, Neb., (see "humor failure" above), but when I showed up at the airport, my flight wasn’t listed on any of the departures screens. So I went to the airline’s customer service desk, where, after a lengthy discussion, the customer service representative asked me where the nearest airport was to Kearney. Well, it so happens that I have an irrational expectation that airline employees should know where airports are, just as I would expect that my doctor would not need me to point him to my pancreas. So I did what any conscientious consumer would do and rented a car. Little wonder that a study by business professors at the University of Nebraska (see "Kearney" above) showed that complaints from air passengers were up 26 percent last year, surpassing the year-before increase of 20 percent. The trade group for the airlines said that any silly perceived problems that bother passengers are not the fault of the airlines. No, they are a result of the current prosperous state of the economy, because more people are flying, and this greatly inconveniences the airlines. This is hard logic to argue with, because if you did not fly, you would have fewer complaints about flying.

Air travel has become so bad that Congress is considering forcing airlines to treat travelers better, including such heavy-handed, draconian requirements like explaining why flights are delayed, warning passengers if the airline has sold more tickets on a flight than it has seats, and penalizing the airlines if they send your luggage to Hell, even if that is your final destination.

Can you imagine how bad things must be for Congress to single out a business and consider legislation to tell it how to treat customers? Can you imagine if, say, the clothing business had reached the point where Congress had to consider forcing retailers to let you use single-occupancy changing rooms? Or if Congress made them explain to you why you could not get correct change, or why the pants you bought last week had been rerouted to Kearney? Of course you can’t. Only I can imagine that.

The airlines oppose any government action that places government between the airlines and their free-enterprise rights to disappoint and frustrate passengers. The airlines argue that if they are not allowed to lose your luggage, or if they have to tell you why your flight has been delayed, ticket prices will go up. This will force travelers into less frustrating and more economical modes of travel, and nobody wants that.

So we should be sure to realize that complaints about the airlines are not really a reflection on them, but rather a reflection on ourselves, the traveling public who have become a bunch of spoiled whiners warped by our own unreasonable and na•ve expectations. My advice to you is that you sit in your seat with your seatbelt taut across your midriff, keep your mouth shut, and keep your elbows out of the aisles. And don’t get up until the airplane has come to a complete stop at the gate, which may or may not be in Kearney.

Dan Danbom keeps both feet on the ground.